Words can stain even sting
And bring you to your knees…
                  But I know better now.

The tape that has been playing
over and over, just unraveled…
                  Because I know better now.

I’ve felt tethered to the pull of family
responsibility by the “Good Book”…
                  But I know better now.

Years of wondering what was wrong with me
Why I was never picked
Doubting myself from the inside, up through my pores…
                  But I deserve better now.

The veil of mystery has been removed
I can see the blindspots that you hold
                  Because I can see better now.

Did you want to protect me?
Protect me from what? From whom?
For what reason…
                  Did you question that I might know better?

Love has eluded me
I never knew why
                  But I know better now.

The poison seeped into my veins
Pumping through my soul
                  But I must do better now.

Poor candidate to who? You?
Must I always have to work so hard for approval, even love?
                  Maybe I deserve better.

Is this the part of my identity
That I am supposed to be grateful for?
“Enjoy the ride” daughter
These words stare back at me…
How do I get off this ride I didn’t ask to be on in the first place.
Because I am not those things
I am more and I am THE best candidate
                  The candidate that you could never be.